I’ve been tossed out of nicer places by far better people…….

Today I had a second meeting with the NYS Education Committee chairman NYS Senator Carl Marcellino, Republican from the 5^th senate district, representing parts of Nassau and Suffolk county, but clearly not representing our children or parents. Let me explain.

I had met with him last year with a friend and prior to that meeting I had been warned by several people that Senator Carl Marcellino was a misogynist. That he marginalized women and was not a receptive listener. Last year, I was new to this game of asking politicians for things that are important to me, to be important to them. Last year, I brought him a picture of my daughter, I spoke softly and let him tell me how he had just been assigned to the education committee and he needed time to catch up, he needed to take advantage of a “learning curve.” He was courteous, friendly, pleasant, and appeared to listen and understand how urgent the diploma crisis is in NYS. And then he did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING with the information I brought him. He did not address the diploma crisis in any way, shape or form.

Fast forward to today, a friend wanted to meet with him. She has an idea that is different from other things we’ve discussed. I told her it was a waste of our time, I told her he isn’t a good listener, I told her he really doesn’t give a damn about our kids. But she needed to see for herself.

I have memorialized today’s meeting all over Facebook with this post.

“I experienced a first in my life today, I was tossed from a NYS senator’s office.

Senator Carl L. Marcellino (R) agreed to meet Rosemary Garofolo after she basically badgered them into answering an e-mail. (First rude thing) We met him at 11 in his office and from the moment he sat down it was clear he didn’t want to hear a word we said. He was ridiculously ignorant of what is going on in education, considering he is the EDUCATION chair. We discussed how NYS Grad requirements are absurd. We discussed the cut scores that render Regents exams a hysterically bad joke. He claimed that the reason we went to this policy (as a state) was because “better universities across the country were refusing to admit NYS students because we had no standards.” I challenged this remark, I told him I’d never heard such a thing and he sneered, “Well you learned something new today.”

He further opined that we just can’t hand out diplomas for attendance. (Condescending, mean spirited, ignorant) We said that isn’t what we are saying but he had absolutely no interest in listening to anything, PARENTS who reside in NYS had to say about EDUCATION. He also informed us that there are, “Thousands of jobs, that pay a living wage, for people without diplomas.” I told him that was untrue. In hindsight I wish I’d asked him for a list. And where that living wage would afford someone to LIVE. (Certainly not in one of the most expensive places in the US) Rosemary tried to explain why we were there but he kept interrupting. And then got angry when Rosemary pointed out that he wasn’t listening. And then he told us to, “Get out.” In my entire life I never thought I’d see the day that a PUBLIC SERVANT would be so rude, disrespectful, ignorant, self-serving or dishonest as NYS senator Carl Marcellino. He does not DESERVE TO SERVE.”

I thought about this all day today as I sat on the beach. I thought about how he knew absolutely nothing about what we were talking about. I thought about Newsday reporting on June 12 that 15,800 children, 1400 right here on Long Island completed 4 years of high school without receiving diplomas. I thought about him not even acknowledging that that is a problem. I thought about how cavalierly he threw out that bit about our kids not getting into better schools because we “didn’t have standards”. We have never not had standards, the stupidity of that comment alone is mind boggling. And THOUSANDS of jobs that don’t require a diploma and earn a living wage? I messaged him to ask for a list or data to substantiate the first piece of nonsense and a list of the second, since he basically said that people could live on a wage from a job that doesn’t even require a high school diploma. Is he even cognizant of how stupid that sounds?

I thought about how as we were leaving, after being told, “get out”, “now you can leave” him standing up and dismissing us, Rosemary was saying we won’t forget in November, telling him, “You’re done.” And him responding, “It’s been tried before.” Cockily, confident that he will remain in office and continue to ignore the needs of his constituents. I thought about how this will NEVER attract the attention of the News media, even though it should.

I was raised by hard working parents. My Dad respected people and especially women. I cannot fathom my dad, the consummate gentlemen tossing a woman out of his office, ever. I am not a fragile flower, I’m not cowed by bullies and Senator Marcellino today, exhibited his true colors, I could almost file a DASA complaint but he knows so little about schools he probably doesn’t know what that is either.

I was raised to love and respect our country. And I do. I consider myself a patriot. I vote. I follow politics. I pay attention. I love this country with all my heart. I believe in the processes of electing people to REPRESENT my interests. Whose interests does Senator Marcellino represent?

This is the vow he took when he was first elected in 1995:

I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support the constitution of the United States, and the constitution of the State of New York, and that I will faithfully discharge the duties of the office of a NY Senator.

Then I was curious to know what the duties would be so I googled and this is what I found here, on the NYS Senate page https://www.nysenate.gov/about

The New York State Senate is the upper house of the New York State Legislature. Its sixty-three members represent New York State and its more than 19 million citizens. The legislature’s primary purpose is to draft and approve changes to the laws of New York.

These changes are driven by complex public policy issues. To effectively represent the will of the people, senators must gain a deep understanding of those issues and how they impact New Yorkers.

And I got hung up on that very last line, “To effectively represent the will of the people, senators must gain a deep understanding of those issues and how they impact New Yorkers. “

• EFFECTIVELY represent the will of the people
• Gain a deep understanding
• How they impact New Yorkers

I don’t think NYS Senator Marcellino could have failed more miserably today at the job he “solemnly swore” to do.

In this great republic we have the right to cast ballots and ask the very best of us to serve and represent public interests in Albany. Is this the best we have? I don’t think so. I think Senator Marcellino should be sent out to pasture. His callous disregard of our children and his disrespect of myself and Rosemary and by extension every other concerned parent in NYS makes him unfit to “effectively represent the will of the people.”

Please join us on Facebook at “Multiple Pathways to a Diploma for all” https://www.facebook.com/groups/1043046219053541/

#rememberinnovember #nopublicservant #diplomacrisis

The NYS ELA Regents as a Debacle

I haven’t blogged in quite a while. I have a lot to say but little time to sit down, write, edit, check facts, edit some more etc. Last night the memos regarding the NYS Regents meeting on Monday, June 13^th came out and as anticipated there is one that addresses graduation requirements for students with disabilities.

For those that don’t know, in New York,  ALL children enrolled in a traditional NYS public high school, must take Regents exams to get a diploma, except those that are alternately assessed. A very brief and incomplete explanation is that not too long ago, a student had a choice of a Regents or non-regents diploma. If they were unable to pass Regents exams they could still go on to productive lives and college and many have. Of course, in those days it was also assumed, accurately, that students would also go on to take civil service tests, join the military, go to vocational schools, learn a trade and in some cases get a job until they could decide what they wanted to be when they grew up. They were afforded the opportunities to try new things, spread their wings and figure it out. Today EVERY SINGLE STUDENT must take Regents exams regardless of ability, disability, dreams or ambitions. NYSED had made them a mandatory requirement of a diploma.

In recent months, many parents across the state have cried foul at this requirement. Parents recognize that all children are different. And some are simply not capable or interested in having a Regents diploma. NYS is one of only two that has this and colleges don’t care. It is not more prestigious or indicative of a work ethic or higher intellect. In fact, there is a ridiculous cut score in place to make sure the graduation rate stays flat and in my humble opinion a score of 30 does not indicate mastery of anything, how does that make a Regents test valid?

Yesterday the Regents released a memo in anticipation of Monday’s meeting that essentially says, all students with IEP’s must take five Regents exams, however now they can fail all the social studies ones and science ones (twice) then  can appeal for a waiver so their local district can assess mastery, disappointingly the math and ELA regents are still in place and must be passed. There are absolutely no allowances for children with 504’s or English language learners or children that have test anxiety or are simply differently abled. For students with language based disabilities the ELA Regents is an insurmountable boulder in their way and not because it is a fair test that accurately measures basic reading skills but because it is an overblown, self-important piece of ridiculousness intended to test tenacity and higher level reading skills more often associated with a child studying literature in college. (Heavy sarcasm in this statement)

I have been obsessing about the ELA Regents since, I downloaded and printed two, just for fun (ok, I know, I have no life) and they average around 20 pages each. In case you are unfamiliar with the format, and it has changed 4 times, this is the most current Common Core version; Part 1 consists of a “Reading Comprehension Passage A”, followed by 9 multiple choice questions. Then there is “Reading Comprehension Passage B” generally this is a poem, followed by 5 multiple choice questions, “Reading Comprehension Passage C” followed by 10 multiple choice questions. Part 2 is the argument writing. Students must read 4 texts, the criteria for this essay includes making a claim, distinguishing it from alternate or opposing positions, they must use evidence from three of the texts, the evidence must be annotated, in a formal style of writing following the conventions of standard English. On the January 2016 Regents the texts were on GMO’s (Genetically Modified Organisms, for the adults reading this blog that have no idea what that is). Just to give you an example of what they are asking our children to read and comprehend to get out of HIGH SCHOOL.

I am begging you all to go here and take a look at the Common Core aligned ELA NYS regents. http://www.nysedregents.org/hsela/home.html

I tossed and turned last night, thinking of the dozens of kids I know with speech and language impairments, dyslexia, autism, other learning disabilities and test anxiety, I thought about my daughter and her challenges and then this came to my mind.

She is sitting in a classroom next Wednesday. She went to bed early, she had breakfast, she has three or four newly sharpened, number two pencils with erasers. She has been coached and prepped in her self-contained, alternate program, ELA class for months. She is typically successful there and has been sharing her reading experiences this year with us at the dinner table, Shakespeare and Arthur Miller’s The Crucible to mention two. She seemed to get a great deal out of them through the many methods her highly qualified NYS teacher employed to make them accessible to a room full of children with reading and language difficulties but now she is on her own and there is no test with higher stakes than the one she MUST pass to get a diploma.

And so it begins, Caroline begins the first of 6 passages and a poem she will be required to read, comprehend and answer to. Almost immediately a word she is unfamiliar with comes up, she starts to panic, she started her academic career as speech and language impaired, she has never acquired language like other children and in fact we have been told she will struggle to communicate her entire life. Caroline continues to read but this is stuff she has absolutely no interest in and in fact has never heard of and there are DOZENS of vocabulary words she is unfamiliar with. It is hard to follow. She starts to sweat. She has ADHD too and shifts restlessly in her seat, she thinks, “Do I have enough pencils?” “What if I need to go to the bathroom?” She realizes she has drifted away from the text, she comes back but, “Oh my God, what is this about?” She resumes reading. She rereads what she has already read, she is confused, panic is setting in and her heart is racing. She thinks I will read it again; I’ll pay attention that time, I’ll figure out what these words mean. She is unaware that the reading passages are well above her reading level. The subject matter is sometime obscure and completely unrelated to her personal life experiences, almost as if they have deliberately decided to test a child’s ability to attend to something they couldn’t care less about. The questions ask her to decide the meaning of words in context, she knows what this means, she also knows this is difficult for her. She is asked to discern feelings based on what she has read and interpret what the author means.

The test is three hours long for general education students, for students with disabilities up to 6 hours. It can be read but they are not allowed to have a dictionary even though some passages are written from a historical perspective with words I have not encountered since college. It proceeds, throughout students are asked to read college level texts, to identify figurative language, metaphors, similes, idioms and colloquialisms. They are asked to classify the passages and define symbols. Irony and sarcasm is evident throughout.

I can read her mind, and many other students sitting for a minimum of three hours taking a test that is meant to confound and confuse them. It is mean spirited. It makes them feel stupid, inadequate and embarrassed. My daughter is thinking I must pass this test or I cannot leave high school. She is thinking I just want to get out, I hate high school, I don’t feel comfortable here.  The girls look at me funny. I want to be able to get a job. My mom knows a kid that took this test 6 times. She wants to cry. Maybe the girl sitting next to her already is. The boy in her class with autism and ADHD has left the room 4 times. He threw up. He wants to be a computer programmer, since he was little he has been exceptionally talented at technology. Writing? Not so much. Caroline is overwhelmed. She forgets the things her teacher so carefully coached her to do. She just wants it be over. By the time she gets to the argument writing she is exhausted, her head hurts and she is defeated and she still must read 4 additional passages, form an opinion, write it and defend it, properly. This is not a test of what my daughter can adequately read, it is a test of how much something can punish her before she quits.

I appreciate that it is important that children leave high school with the ability to read and write. But what level of ability? Will my daughter ever be called upon to write an essay like this in her life? I can say probably not. Will she need this skill to be an aide in a preschool, which is her dream? Our plans include BOCES for vocational training so she can be productive, make friends, and have something to do every day that makes her part of a community.

NYSED has drawn this line in the sand and determined by it that some children are simply not worthwhile. How dare people that have never met my daughter or her peers decide this? I asked a Regent yesterday if they had even seen the current NYS ELA exam and they responded, “Not in years.” and yet, on Monday they will agree that this test and the math Regents can be the determining factor of whether or not a child can go on from high school and be productive. I am outraged. I am scared. I cannot imagine how my daughter feels.

In NYS we need to acknowledge the exceedingly diverse population of students in our schools and their many gifts and talents. We need to enable them to be successful adults not put in place tests that are no arbiter of an ability to be a productive member of society. Our children deserve better. We must insist that the department responsible for educating ALL of NYS’s children does just that.

The Dead End

Last week they had junior orientation at my daughter’s high school. I attended this for my son. The guidance department shows a PowerPoint presentation on the things one must do as our children head into their junior year of high school in preparation for that culminating senior year. PSAT’s, ACT’s, student loans, the application process, early acceptance, scholarships, financial aid, and student resumes etc. A room full of parents that are excited and nervous. I remember that night for my son and feeling so proud and thinking of all the possibilities for him.

I didn’t go this time. My daughter’s possibilities are NOT endless. In fact they are significantly limited right now. And not because I don’t see her as a successful, participating member of society but because NYS doesn’t.

I would have gone. If there were something available for my daughter and her similar peers. I would have gone. I would have gone if NYS, instead of removing the only REAL safety net available to her through the RCT’s, had provided her with an alternate path to a high school diploma. If she, in fact, had been made college or CAREER ready. As things stand right now she will be neither of those things.

I recognize the need to raise the bar. I recognize the need to create accountability, to ensure that we are giving children the very best education we can. That we prepare the children in the United States for participation in a “Global World” (isn’t that a redundancy?) What I don’t get, is that in doing so, NYS has consciously neglected an entire population.

Since I wrote the petition on change.org, https://www.change.org/p/new-york-state-board-of-regents-reinstate-the-local-diploma-tied-to-rct-s, I have heard from hundreds of parents across NYS, they call to tell me about their child with a learning disability. They talk about the special gifts their children have. They talk about music, art, math, reading and writing. All typical subjects taught in high schools across our country. The difference is, often where this kind of child exhibits a talent in math, many times ELA is a mystery or a quagmire that they simply don’t get. Or they are gifted musicians with perfect pitch but writing is a nightmare. Who decided that people that exhibit a substantial talent at something but perhaps a limitation elsewhere are not worthy of a HIGH SCHOOL diploma? How is that permissible in a STATE EDUCATION DEPARTMENT?????

It reminds me of when a family member was very ill and I met with doctors, with them. Doctors that worked in world renowned hospitals and the one thing that was very noticeable about them was that they all seemed to have a spectrum disorder. They had trouble meeting my eyes, they had trouble with their bedside manner, they didn’t really understand or seem to grasp sarcasm or humor, they struggled to identify with their patients, but they were brilliant. Do I think they would be able to pass the current Common Core aligned ELA regents? In my humble opinion, no freaking way. But I think that level of commitment to one thing, (probably referred to as OCD in school) is necessary in their profession and an actual gift, to be able to eliminate extraneous noise or nonsense. But in those days Regents exams were an OPTION not the sole pathway to a diploma.

I wouldn’t care so much, I really wouldn’t except without that magic slip of paper my child and her likeminded peers cannot do anything. They cannot join the military, go to a community college, take a civil service test, or get an entry level job. They cannot even bag groceries at our local supermarket and believe me when I tell you, her dad and I see so many more POSSABILITIES for our girl and kudos to the baggers out there.

I don’t know how a department of EDUCATION reconciles this nearly elitist view point of education, some children are worthy, others not so much? In AMERICA???? Whatever happened to FAPE (free appropriate public education)? They are failing my daughter, they are failing thousands of children statewide, and they are also failing children that are not academically inclined, children that maybe don’t want to go to a 4 year college but see themselves fulfilling other, very real, very lucrative and viable dreams. And it makes me REALLY angry.

And then, it also makes me sad. My daughter deserves a junior orientation night. One that addresses her specific needs, she is entitled to that, just like every other high school junior. I have fought for a long time for her to see a long road of success and dreams in front of her instead of the big fat, “Dead End” sign NYS has thrown in her path. And again I say, “Shame on them.”

5 at 55, and the convoluted mess made by the Board of Regents

A hot July day, one week after school ended here in Long Island, I’m sitting in my daughter’s guidance counselor’s office. And I have that anxious, I’m going to hear something I don’t like feeling. I like her, a lot. I think she is effective at her job and helpful, in fact most of the staff at my daughter’s high school is empathetic, as I would expect most educators to be. Look for a later post on football heads.

Anyway, she takes out a piece of plain white paper and in the EXACT same fashion that my college advisor did drew out the requirements for my daughter to achieve a diploma. She pretty much discards the idea of my daughter receiving a regular diploma and I am not offended. She failed the earth science regents last year and did not retake it because it was decided that the living environment would be easier and she only needs one science. Well now she has failed that one as well, but only with a 45, she needs a 55. And to be honest, (it’s my blog, why would I be otherwise) I have already told my daughter repeatedly that we just have to get through high school and then we can figure the rest out. I tell her this because sadly high school is not a place she is happy. It is not an all accepting, understanding or kind place.

Back to guidance counselor. She explains the requirements. I have already registered Sweet Caroline for the retakes in August and one review class because honestly my child with school based anxiety looked at me tearfully with her big greyish/blue eyes and said, “It’s summer, why do I have to do this?” And I explained, painstakingly how we need to approach each Regents exam one at a time, get this one, work on the next one. But I am afraid. And for the first time, the idea that this may be unattainable creeps into the edge of my consciousness.

Out of curiosity I download and print the GHG (Global History and Geography) the most failed regents of them all, for all children general ed and not. It is 25 pages long. It has 50 multiple choice questions, 2 thematic essays and a DBQ. And the thing that strikes me, nearly immediately, is how much information is on this ONE test. Several HUNDRED years of world history touching on more than a few countries. Their cultures, religions, geography, languages and agriculture. I have a Master’s degree, it is generally agreed upon by my friends that I have an above average vocabulary, I watch my share of news and I can hold my own in conversations about the rest of the world. However, I don’t think I could write a thematic essay outlining the origins, belief systems or foundations of Buddhism, Hinduism and Islam. I know some basic facts, Buddha, Siddhartha, Allah, pillars, India, Middle East, China but a full blown thematic essay, yea, um, not so much.

I see a question regarding an archipelago and an isthmus and then I ask my daughter to take the regents I downloaded so I can see what she knows, about 15 questions in my daughter asks, “Mom, what does significant mean?” And it occurs to me that it is not necessarily the information on Regents exams that is going to tank her. It is the language, her disability is language based. And the shrieking in my head commences, because I KNOW, because I administer NYS assessments for my job that for tests involving comprehension, there can be no deviation from the language on the test. In other words, although my daughter is entitled to “accommodations” they do not accommodate her specific disability. There will be no one to tell her the meaning of words within the questions. I tell her significant means important and she says, “Oh, ok.”

We hire a tutor for the global, she is registered for a review class for the living environment and did I mention, that test is 85 multiple choice questions? She is anxious and sad. I am anxious and sad. My girl who has never had an easy, uncomplicated, happy, engaged, understandable, learning experience is being further punished because she has a disability. And apparently it has never occurred to the people running the department that just maybe my daughter doesn’t need ALL THIS INFORMATION to get where she wants to go. And she needs to get a minimum score of 55 on 5 of these STUPID, yea I said it, and I’ll say it again, STUPID tests that mean NOTHING outside of NY. I pay egregiously high taxes here on Long Island so the NYSED department can fail my kid over and over and over again and make her feel less than what and who she is.

I start burning up phone lines. I meet with my assemblyman. I speak to our Regent. I write a petition. And I decide to take this on as a cause. All children do not need Regents exams. All children cannot be accurately assessed by one test in a given subject. Children are all differently gifted, talented and knowledgeable.

And then the icing on the cake of life. I consult the schedule for Regents retakes to see which one she takes first so I can let her tutor know. And the shocking irony, they are both scheduled for the 12^th at 12:30. In fact for that 5 at 55 diploma, 3 of the required tests are being administered at 12:30 on the 12^th. WHO does this scheduling?????? And I think somebody should fire THAT guy.

I call the neighboring district where my daughter is scheduled to take these tests and the very nice lady on the phone says, “Mrs. Buckley, this happens ALL the time.” Really, all the time and it hasn’t been fixed???? I’m a big fan of, if it ain’t broke don’t fix it, but this is something that’s been broken for a while and we HAVEN’T fixed it???? She assures me they will stay however long she needs them to stay. Have I mentioned my daughter must sit for 4 ½ hours per test? IF she starts on time at 12:30 and takes one right after the other she will be at a desk until 9:30 at night. And that time makes no allowances for the bathroom, a snack even a walk to clear her head.

The NYS Bar exam is not that long. I would not ask a gen Ed kid to sit that long, never mind a kid with a learning disability or test based anxiety. I called NYSED. I am angry. I am flabbergasted. How do these people get and KEEP their jobs. In what way does anybody think testing a child for 9 hours is going to lead to SUCCESSFUL results? How is this sound educational practice? Isn’t this borderline abusive? I am angrier.

I speak to the special education department in Albany and I complain bitterly. In fact I complain so much that I am told, Mrs. Buckley we can issue a waiver for Caroline. She can take these tests over a 2 day span and in fact we can expedite the waiver for you. After some leg work I have it in my hands within 4 business days. I ask what about the other children? I’m sure my child isn’t the only one subjected to this draconian test schedule. I ask, “What about them?” And the response, blows me away. “Well, it’s up to each individual parent or guidance counselor to ask.” And it’s all I can do not to say are you effing kidding????? These people don’t care about our children. They are not providing our students with the most optimal educational environment possible. Hell, I cannot even get the NYS test kingpin Mr. Katz to return a phone call.

So last night my daughter is weepy, anxious and overwhelmed. She is upset that even though she worked hard all year and passed her classes she is being punished by the very agency charged with educating her. And sitting next to her is her furious mother plotting the demise of this archaic, inhumane, ignorant system that insists that all children must ascribe to the exact same assessments to get out of high school no matter how their brain functions.

And the irony does not escape me that I have always told my children that hard work pays off, that there isn’t anything they can’t achieve if they try hard enough. And NYSED at the hands of our Board of Regents, the very agency charged with opening doors, expanding a child’s world, encouraging exploration has slammed the door in their face and the faces of children all over NYS and they used a test to do it.

I can be reached at BFBuckley@outlook.com

Please sign my petition, https://www.change.org/p/new-york-state-board-of-regents-reinstate-the-local-diploma-tied-to-rct-s?recruiter=8240419&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=share_facebook_responsive&utm_term=des-lg-share_petition-custom_msg&fb_ref=Default

Learning Disabled Students Overlooked? Seriously?

Blog #4

This morning I’m awakened by my phone beeping and someone has advised me to check out Newsday’s Anne Michaud’s column. She comes out saying that a recent decision by NYS has left some children behind by withdrawing the local diploma tied to RCT’s. It is a soft piece. It is inaccurate and tells an incomplete story. It doesn’t strongly enough (at least for me) address the injustice being perpetuated upon children with learning disabilities or their peers who merely struggle to learn. Her point of reference is a mom of 5 from Oceanside that is worried for her son on the spectrum and his ability to pass Regents exams. http://www.newsday.com/opinion/columnists/anne-michaud/ny-diploma-reforms-overlooked-some-students-1.10715722

However, it stopped far short of the condemnation that is deserved even with its title “NY Diploma Reforms Overlooked Some Students.” How does one “overlook” an entire population of students? According to the US department of education 12.1 percent of our nation’s children have disabilities. In NYC alone that would be 120,000 students. In my home district we have roughly 550 classified kids, which is in the vicinity of 14% of our children. The National Center for Education Statistics, reports that NYS educates 2.9 million students in our public schools. Assuming that the national percentage occurs across all NYS districts we are talking somewhere in the vicinity of 350,000 children. How does an agency charged with providing a Free Appropriate Public Education (FAPE) to ALL students get away with overlooking a population in the hundreds of thousands?

I’ll tell you how because I have been on the receiving end of this. They (the powers that be in NYSED and our Board of Regents) think we aren’t paying attention and many times parents of students with disabilities aren’t. We are too overwhelmed with caring for our children, fighting our local districts, doing homework, searching for seamless t-shirts and socks, taking our kids to physical therapy, occupational therapy, doctors, counselors, behaviorists, after school programs to help them socialize, food therapists and tutors. We are rewashing the one shirt our kid will wear so teachers and other professionals don’t judge them. We are dealing with kids that eat one food, for years, kids that throw tantrums that make Tom Brady’s little boohoo over deflating a ball look like absolutely nothing important, (mostly because it isn’t, sorry, not sorry). We are also trying to raise, educate and nurture our typical children in the same household.

Parents of children with learning disabilities are dealing with higher divorce rates than their friends who have typically developing children. They have exponentially higher costs associated with educating their children, many of the therapies that are helpful out of school are not covered by ANY agency. They are isolated. Often they cannot work because they must be prepared to pick up a child at a moment’s notice. Some are homeschooling because schools are simply not a good enough place for their kids or their kids were bullied right out of their place of education.

We are people that sometimes have significant disabilities of our own. Dyslexic children come from dyslexic parents and I know the science has not been found that 100% supports this but children with spectrum disorders come from parents with spectrum disorders, the proof is all around you. ADHD is genetic, and so are a slew of other things that interfere with learning. Parents, not just their children just don’t have the skill set necessary to navigate special education or the wherewithal to make a phone call write a letter or email and complain. They are overwhelmed, exhausted and in some cases disabled themselves.

So in the way of many bullies, NYSED manages to “overlook” hundreds of thousands of children. Outrageous. Criminal. Egregious. Mean-spirited. Immoral. Irresponsible. Unaccountable. Atrocious. They are denying FAPE, (Free appropriate public education) that is guaranteed by federal law. They are pretending that we and our children don’t exist and they get away with it, because if you are going to disenfranchise an entire population pick the one whose focus is elsewhere. And then you can also save money, and no matter what ANYBODY ever says, it is ALWAYS about the money.

It’s not as if we can just turn around and make fighting NYS a mission. I have been told several times, these things take time. So they will take so long we will get exhausted and they will win by attrition because we have more urgent things to worry about. And our kids will be overlooked over and over and over again. And they won’t get educations never mind the golden ticket much sought after “diploma”.

Like many parents of children with learning disabilities I am tired of fighting. Deeply bone tired of being made to feel like my child is a bottom of the list priority. And now I am furious. How dare NYSED do this?

I know if you are the parent of a child struggling in school that you are up to your eyeballs in your own troubles but there are parents willing to help you. If you are reading this, even if your kid is typically developing please, please, please sign my petition. Email me at BFBuckley@outlook.com for a letter template to send to your representatives. We need to tell them we CANNOT be “overlooked” another second. Our kids matter. A lot. Everyday.

Thank you for reading, feel free to comment or leave your own story.

Proud mom of the smart, kind, beautiful Caroline, oh and Rory too.

Follow me on twitter @BonnieFBuckley

Please sign my petition and share it with your friends and family: https://www.change.org/p/new-york-state-board-of-regents-reinstate-the-local-diploma-tied-to-rct-s?recruiter=8240419&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=share_facebook_responsive&utm_term=des-lg-share_petition-custom_msg&fb_ref=Default

Metaphorically Writing of Disabilities

As a young woman I was a Red Cross certified life guard. During the training we learned that the most prevalent cause of drowning is fear. That in their panic, people will fight the water, they will flail and struggle, until exhausted and then they will drown. We were also taught that when you approach a drowning person you must approach and reverse quickly so they don’t grab ahold of you, the lifeguard, and pull you under.

When I first became aware that my daughter was struggling in school I was told that “kindergarten is happening TO her.” She was virtually silent in her class. She was identified very quickly because I had written a letter to her principal telling her that I suspected something was not right. They assessed her and determined that she needed speech services and a consultant teacher, whose purpose was to reteach and clarify what Caroline was missing in class.

I didn’t really understand what a “language delay” meant at the time, I didn’t really understand how far reaching and pervasive this disability would turn out to be. Silly me, I thought some speech therapy in school and she will be just fine. That was my first experience swimming against the tide. I remember it like my 16^th birthday, meeting my husband, getting married and having babies.

Later that year her kindergarten teacher told me, at my very first annual meeting that the recommendation was for Caroline to NOT go to the school my son went to but a different school that could better meet her needs, a school in my community but on the other side of town. Not the school my son had attended where I knew everyone and they knew me. I was taken by surprise (there’s that tide again), I cried, it wasn’t what I’d expected. This would also be my first brush with the fear. I sold this idea to my daughter, I put on a happy face and put on my big girl drawers and told my 6 year old, this will be great for you! They know how to teach you, it will be fine. Yes I know your best friend who lives next door won’t be there. Yes, I know the bus ride will be longer. Yes, I know, none of the little girls in our neck of the woods go there. But, I promised (with a mouth full of salt water, metaphorically of course) that this will be wonderful.

And in very many ways it was. It’s a great school, the principal there is a gifted educator and my girl had wonderful caring teachers. But in second grade she cried in our bathroom getting ready for school because she couldn’t make me understand what the “U shaped thingy” she wanted to wear in her hair was. And when I finally figured out that my daughter who struggles to this day to express herself merely wanted a HEADBAND, I swallowed an ocean over the lump in my throat and bought her twenty.

Over the years there were many waves, undertows and strong currents. Giving up violin because she needed more time to rehearse and we were going to a speech pathologist two days a week and struggling to keep up school work and who has time to play an instrument when you cannot even speak at grade level. Fighting my school district for a specific reading program because often language delays are tied to reading disabilities, and no, reading at a first grade level in 4^th grade is NOT slow but steady progress. It’s a freaking undertow of epic proportion. And who knew this, because I certainly didn’t, I still thought eventually she would be “cured”. Trick or treating and not running into a single kid she knew because, oh yea, her school is on the other side of town. Trying to help her navigate relationships because she didn’t always understand what was going on and didn’t know how to deal with kids that were mean to her. Nothing short of trying to outswim a tidal wave.

And that brings me to the fear. EVERY parent who has a child with a learning disability is occasionally grabbed by an undertow, it is swift, savage and unrelenting and it says over and over again in your head. How do I save my kid? How do I save my kid? How. Do. I. Save. My. Kid? And the fighting and flailing is exhausting. But the fear paralyzes you and you cannot think straight or get out of your own way, never mind evading a tidal wave. The fear tastes like salt water, too strong, undrinkable, and unhealthy and it robs you of motivation. It is no coincidence that tears are salty, too.

Sometimes, you simply want to go with the flow and you can almost convince yourself that if you do it will be ok. You will not drown and neither will your kid. And then that 7^th wave comes up, smacks you in the back of the head and reminds you to NEVER turn your back on the ocean.

So, I was thinking about all the experiences I have had with my daughter and I often feel like I’m drowning, but then I realize, I am her lifeguard, I have to reverse sometimes so we both don’t drown but ultimately I must go back quickly and throw out a lifeline and tow her along for a bit if she can’t quite swim on her own yet. And every once in a while I will throw out a lifeline for a kid who isn’t mine and in turn people have tossed lifelines to my kid when I am spinning in an undertow.

I have to swallow my fear, like I occasionally get stuck swallowing salt water, so I can put on a good front for her and make her believe it will be ok, eventually she will learn to swim on her own. She may never be a Michael Phelps but she can certainly tread water with the rest of us. Because, seriously treading water is a way of life sometimes.

Now if I could just convince NYS that she is so much more than a snapshot. That she is a strong candidate for independence and vocation. That a Regents exam is absolutely no good way to gauge her ability to navigate her life. If I could just make them see that they too can be lifeguards for all of the incredibly wonderful and diversely talented kids in our public pools oops I mean schools.

If our NYS Board of Regents could connect the dots on what children REALLY need in schools and expedite that. That would be a true lifesaving moment. And then just maybe, I could escape the fear and just enjoy the swim.

Please feel free to leave a comment or share a story of your own.

I’m just figuring out the blogging thing and hope to get better.

Follow me on twitter Bonniefbuckley

Please sign my petition at https://www.change.org/p/new-york-state-board-of-regents-reinstate-the-local-diploma-tied-to-rct-s?recruiter=8240419&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=share_facebook_responsive&utm_term=des-lg-share_petition-custom_msg&fb_ref=Default

The Beginning of the Hashtag, #gotaplanyet

My daughter has several learning disabilities. Dyslexia, ADHD and a language impairment. I call it (vulgarly) the trif***ta of disabilities. It makes school difficult, but it also makes life hard. She struggles to communicate. She struggles to read. She struggles to pay attention. Can you imagine navigating life with ALL that going on? She has also recently been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. It rears its head mostly in school. Shocking I know, but school is a minefield for her of girls that talk fast and interrupt each other and read books geared to their age that explain what they are going through. Her social circle is infinitesimal and she is alone most of the time. My daughter acts as if these things don’t trouble her, but I think how can they not?

She was a sophomore last year. She has been in self-contained classes since 6th grade, classified since kindergarten. Her IQ is in the average range, which always indicated to me that she is educable. Her dad and I both graduated from college. We don’t know what the future holds for her, but giving her choices, options, and opportunities is definitely part of OUR plan.

As part of the CSE process this year we discussed the path she would be taking to graduation. It was then that I heard that she would have to “pass” 5 Regents exams with a 55 to get a high school diploma, not a Regents diploma just what is now called the “local diploma”.

I was baffled, I remembered a diploma from my own high school days that was not tied to Regents exams. I remember people that were on vocational tracks that received high school diplomas. I remember the kids that could build cars with parts they found or girls that had an innate ability to style their own hair and all their friends’. These children did not necessarily receive Regents diplomas and in fact didn’t NEED them to be successful or productive.

I mull over the requirements. I think about the dozens of kids I personally know that are language challenged, have other learning disabilities or experience a crazy amount of test based anxiety. I think about the number of parents I know that are trying to navigate special education and advocate for their child and the 16 pathways to graduation we have now. (Whatever happened to K.I.S.S. keep it simple stupid?) I thought about how oftentimes children with learning disabilities have parents with learning disabilities, apples do not fall far from trees, you know. How are THOSE parents going to navigate all of this for THOSE kids? I thought about how scary it is to be the parent of a kid who is often left behind, disenfranchised, neglected, passed over or just plain abused by our educational system. How the parent with the learning disability is already overwhelmed and paralyzed by fear. I thought about all the kids with learning disabilities that went unclassified and unserviced.

I call NYSED’s special education department. I speak to a very nice person there. I ask what the plan is for kids like my kid. They describe the CDOS, basically a useless piece of paper that says my kid attended school for 13 years. Please don’t write to me and explain it to me, until you can also tell me how it is going to get my daughter a job, or into a community college, vocational school or the military. Because right now it does none of those things and to add insult to injury it also tells the entire world she has a learning disability and it is exclusive to NYS making it even more USELESS in other states. This person tells me about the 4+1, as confusing and complicated a path I’ve ever heard, if she can’t pass 5 with a 55, what makes 4 with a minimum of 65 and 1 at 55-64 (but not an ELA or math) feasible? Then they tell me my daughter can stay in school until she is 21. Oh YES, that is what my child with school based anxiety and an AVERAGE IQ wants to do, stay in high school longer. Because high school is so kind to children that are different? But I digress. Finally after I ask, what is the plan?,  several times,  they say, well we haven’t finished developing all the pathways. I am stunned by this revelation because in what responsible world does an agency charged with ensuring my child get an education get to yank a working plan before completing the renovation and how does this HELP children.

I write a petition and post it on change.org, https://www.change.org/p/new-york-state-board-of-regents-reinstate-the-local-diploma-tied-to-rct-s?recruiter=8240419&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=share_facebook_responsive&utm_term=des-lg-share_petition-custom_msg&fb_ref=Default.

Parents reach out to me and describe how this decision has impacted their child. The kid who took the ELA regents 6 times and was supposed to get a diploma in 2014, and didn’t because he failed, again. The kids that are pulling out eyelashes, eyebrows, hair on their heads, the kids that are cutting, drinking, drugging, the kids at increased risk for suicide. The kids that simply put their heads down and say “I can’t” How much heartbreak has to be involved for CHILDREN, before we decide that just maybe “one size fits all” isn’t a good idea. In fact it’s a bad one. One of the most wonderful things about our country is the diversity, you can be different anywhere else just not in high school?

I point out to the very nice person I spoke to at NYSED that the societal implications of denying children diplomas damns them to a life of not being productive or useful or even part of society, that this decision has far reaching implications beyond a decision to deny kids an opportunity to BE SOMEBODY. Doesn’t joblessness increase homelessness? And I would think it would increase the number of people using drugs? Not having a plan adds to overall societal woes exponentially. I am horrified by what NYSED has decided for my child. I ask does anybody in THAT agency HAVE a learning disability or know anyone with a learning disability? It is a rhetorical question but based on the decision making going on there, I would say emphatically, “No freaking way.”  They are so far removed from the reality of school.

And that is when I hash tagged, gotaplanyet? I tweet it every day to NYSED and  our governor who makes no bones about his disrespect for teachers, I write it to our Board of Regents who implemented this poorly thought out plan (I’m being kind here, like my mom taught me). I ask every day. I haven’t gotten an answer, mostly because I think they STILL don’t have one. And the class of 2016 starts soon, what is the plan for kids in that class that cannot pass regents exams? #gotaplanyet

Feel free to use my hashtag on twitter #gotaplanyet?, I’m BonnieFBuckley, proud mom of the smart, kind, beautiful Caroline, oh and Rory too.

And this is my first ever blog, so please be kind about grammar, spelling etc, and feel free to share your own warrior mom stories.